as much as i LOVEE listening to this song… i NEVER appreciated the tasteless theme of the song. and no woman should.
although i’m EXTREMELY guilty of bumpin’ this in the car and occasionally dancing to it… every woman should keep this message in mind…
“Let Me Love You” by Ne-Yo… has anyone heard this song? It’s seriously catchy. I’m not going to lie, when it’s on the radio, I leave it playing because it’s so catchy. The more I listen to it, however, the more I am uncomfortable with it. I was going to just post the song on here, but I decided to watch the music video instead. I thought watching the music video would maybe help with my confusion. “Maybe the music video will show me that there’s more to the song,” I thought.
In this world, I expect music videos to be infused with sex. Even hamburgers are promoted by placing half-naked women on the restaurant’s ads. Just because sex is common in today’s world and media doesn’t make it okay, but I am not surprised when music artists use it in their music videos and songs. I’m not looking to do a video/song analysis on “Let Me Love You”, but I have to say… the beginning of this music video along with the message of the song already promotes confusion. “Much as you blame yourself, you can’t be blamed for the way you feel/had no example of a love that was even remotely real”… I realize that some people do grow up this way. Unfortunately there are some people who have been used, left, neglected, and broken. We all have experienced some type of brokenness to some degree and that’s the truth. The problem I have with how the music video approaches that truth is that the music video begins with a topless woman on a bed with Ne-Yo, evidently in a very passionate moment. The song along with the images in this video imply that a girl learns to love herself and find her worth through allowing men to show her “love” by having sex with her or showing affection towards her through physical means. The song and the music video then relay the message that sex equals love. It couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, two amazing chastity speakers— Jason and Crystalina Evert— have said that sex between two unmarried people is resorted to when there is an absence of love. Sex is a beautiful gift created by God. When it is used in its proper time and context— that is, when a married couple engage in the act— it is loving. It is loving because its purpose is to create a bond between the married couple and to create life. When it is abused and used improperly (sex outside of marriage), however, the consequences can be detrimental. It goes much deeper than fearing a pregnancy that you’re unprepared for or fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease. Both genders can be used through sex, but because men and women are wired so differently, the consequences for a girl can be especially overwhelming. A woman knows when her body is being used. Innocence is written in our hearts and we know when we are using our bodies in a way that it is not supposed to be used. Instead of feeling loved and appreciated, a girl often feels ashamed and used. Sex never satisfies because lust always looks for more. Women do not learn how to love themselves through giving themselves away through their bodies. Unfortunately, the rest of Ne-Yo’s music video is more sex and dancing. The rest of his video promotes the idea that love is found through physical means.
Overall, the message of the song is not positive. We all love guys who inspire us to become strong women. We even commend them on helping us become better versions of ourselves. There is a difference, however, in allowing a man help us become better people and allowing a man to define our worth. We should never begin to love ourselves simply because somebody else “loves” us. We find our self-worth because of our values, our morals, our identity in Christ, and the belief that we deserve the absolute best. We need to believe in ourselves enough to be able to stand on our own two feet. We cannot depend on another person to give us our worth. People come and go. If you feel you are only worth something when somebody else loves you, if they ever walk out of your life, so will your self-worth. “Don’t compromise yourself, you’re all you’ve got,” said Janis Joplin. A woman knows she loves herself when she sets high standards for herself and won’t settle for anything or anyone who will compromise those standards. It’s not that she is unwilling to give others a chance, it’s just that she knows exactly what she deserves. A woman who loves herself will always demand respect, loyalty, honesty, and genuine love.
Ladies and gentlemen, we cannot love another person or let another person love us without loving ourselves first. We simply cannot give what we don’t have. Once we know how much we’re worth and once we learn to love ourselves, the right person will walk into our lives. He or she won’t need to help you love yourself because one of the things that will attract them to you will be your self-worth and your strong belief in yourself. Continue working on yourself and you’ll see God bring into your life a person who is truly deserving of you. Why? Because you’re awesome. You deserve nothing but the best.
Now, somebody please tell Ne-Yo he’s got it all backwards. ;)
